how did we all just casually listen to Take Me To Church on the radio in 2014??
you’re telling me we really heard lyrics like “there is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin” and “if i’m a pagan of the good times, my lover’s the sunlight” and didn’t go absolutely buck wild???
bold of you to assume i can comprehend the words that are said even to this day
as soon as hozier says “she’s the giggle at a funeral” my vision greys out and i wake up 4 hours later in a church garden, shovelling handfuls of dirt into my mouth
Text: PSA to anyone with a tree nut allergy who frequents starbucks. We have a new drink called the pistachio cold foam cold brew and our pistachio sauce not only has real pistachio in it, the syrup sticks inside the blender and will 100% not fully wash off with the rinsers we use (its just water). I highly suggest if you want a cold foam drink during Jan-March you request it done in a sanitized blender to lower the chance of having a reaction if you are at risk.
Bees choose to live in the box where they know damn well that a large fraction of the honey will periodically be removed, instead of simply leaving that place like they are perfectly able to do, because the human box comes with an invulnerable titan to guard them against all threats. The bees consider the payment offered to this colossal mercenary to be a pretty good deal.
my asshole cat once again comes to me and does his usual indications for “hey, there’s a problem I need you to fix, please help.”
because I love him and he is weirdly smart and actually really good at figuring out problems and getting help (like when he lets me know the bird feeder is empty because he wants to watch the birds) I trustingly get up and follow him.
he reaches the window, outside of which is a thunderstorm. he is very afraid of thunderstorms, and normally does not go anywhere near the windows when they happen. upon reaching the window he indicates in his usual fashion, “here is the problem, please fix it.”
no idea whether to be flattered and endeared that my cat thinks I control the weather, or frustrated because my cat is now mad at me for refusing to control the weather on his behalf. this is the second time this has happened.
one of the worst genres of tumblr post is “attempt at thoughtful emotional prose from a person who has read nothing but fanfic since they graduated from high school”
ALT
